..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
