Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
