so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
