Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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