Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
