this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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