Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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