if i can run in heels then i can drive
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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