I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
