laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's like iHOP with fire
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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