11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
