Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
