Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
