Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
