I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
