Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
