Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
