We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize