Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
