She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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