first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
