I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
