if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize