so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We were destined to go to rehab together
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
