i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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