i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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