Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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