I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My breasts were aching with rage.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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