i can't believe i had my finger in that
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
