You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
