I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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