just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
