Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
