Cold hands, warm shart.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
