i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
