he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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