For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
