Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
