He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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