i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
