I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
