Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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