yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
