used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he thought i was a dude.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize