loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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