There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
