I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
