I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
