If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
