there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
