You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize