My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
