I bet he comes in French.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
