Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
