brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
